short , dark , intelligent

Female , 74

I am a widow my husband died 2006, I live alone with my Jack Russel terrier, which was a rescue dog. I have a daughter 50 this year who is an alcoholic and lives in Germany, contact is sporadic depending on her alcohol intake, she has been an alcolholic since early 90's and refuses any help. My husband died of Dementia in December 2006, I nursed him at home until his death. I work within the dementia framework locally, I run a lunch club for carers and past carers and service users of Dementia, but any one can join, our doors are always open. We meet once a week for lunch at a local pub and have many laughs and try to support each other. I am also in the review group for our local dementia trying to save it from closure, we saved it once in 2005 but theey have again threatened closure so we are fighting the local council to keep it open. I walk quite a lot with my dog at least 1 short walk and 1 long walk a day mainly along local river banks and lakes

Determination of character

My husband became ill in the early nineties with heart problems, and in 1997 he had a triple heart bypass. He was never the same after the operation and after seeking help through private medical care, alternative health care, he was eventually diagnosed with Parkinson and Alzheimer diseases.in 2004 Although devasted I was determined he would have the best quality of life
possible, and I ensured we were together at home until his death. The fight was long and hard, you lose friends, we lost friends of 40 years, they were frightened of the mood swings etc, but the friends we both made in the dementia circle, are now my extended family, and are friends for life. I can never repay the support and help I received from our local day care centre and all the relevent dementia organizations, they were our rock, and always there when I needed a shoulder to cry on, and my energies now go into helping others over come the many difficulties they are faced with each day.

Help with investigating problems

I have a very inquisitive mind and when I need to find answers to any thing, I never give up I search on the internet, libraries, any where I can get answers. I keep digging no matter how long it takes. Throughout Peter's illness I was always searching for new ways to help him in his daily life and searching for answers to his illness, I use the same skills now trying to find ways to help keep the local dementia home open, challenging the local council on there decisions whether financial or reasons why it must close, and hopefully we will win with support of the local residents. I believe if any thing is worth fighting for we should endeavour to help, especially the under privilidge and those who are unable to fight for themselves. We either sit back and say nothing, or we stand up and be counted, and that is what I try to do within my time left.

Encourage and assist people

I was out walking my dog recently on a Sunday morning early and I was stopped by a stranger at the bus stop who asked me to tell him the time of the next bus, he could not read English only speak it. I ended up sitting down at the bus stop with this stranger until the bus came about 40 mins later, and he told me much of his life story, he was depressed, he ws separated from his wife and children who he adored and could see no way forward. I talked through his problems, advised him where he could get help, encouraged him to go and legal help from cab, and respect himself more. He had been a house husband because his wife had a higher salary than him, and had apparently since returning to work become disinterested in him and asked him to leave the house and had taken legal action. I advised him he had to face facts, the marriage could be over, but he had rights, he should try to get a job, abd then a new home where his children could come and stay. I think I can support people.

I would like to join horsemouth, after having 10 years of caring, and at times seemed to be hitting my head against a brick wall, not getting any answers, I learnt the hard way how to get answers and help with our problems which were many. You have to have courage to ask for help, no one likes to have to do it, but to stay sane it is the only way. The people I contacted during those years I will never forget or be able to thank them enough for all there help and support. Life is about giving and I now have the time and the experience I have had over the last years to be able to help some one as I was so often helped along the way. I think this kind of mentoring is good because people do not always wish to go to a consulting room, or not even the time to go, this way they can get help instantly without leaving home. I wish when I was in need there had been some one out there I could call. especially weekends when every thing closes down, all the help lines stopped on Fridays then.

Groups you have created.