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zinzin
zinzin aged 64
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3 words

analytical , loyal , trustworthy

Self description

Female , 64

I am 55 yeasr old and best described as having lived two lives. In the first I married young ( 16) and had three beautiful daughters who are all grown up and parents themselves.
The second life started 18 years ago when I left that family to make my life with my wonderful current husband, 15 years my junior and who has severe Apergers syndrome. Since we have been together I have experienced so many things, poverty, endless caring, happiness,despair, doubt and how to look at the world with different eyes. You name it, I've probaly dealt with it as a carer.
I have completed a sociology degree and hope to go for my masters money permitting someday.
I am described as agoraphobic and don't enjoy wonderful health but am generally content with life.
My husband and I have few friends and are stubbornly self reliant so I have learned from experience to sort things out myself. My answers to the problems that have come our way may be a little different from others but have worked for us.

Life experiences

Aspergers support

I have been married to a wonderful man who after many years of being treated as having a mental health conditon was finally diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.
The diagnosis overturned our lives and while caring for him is far from easy I consider myself very fortunate to know him.
Living with this condition has negative and positive points and finding information and support for those involved with adult sufferers is difficult.
I hope my experience in this area ( 17+ years) can be of use to others.

Agoraphobia

I have been agoraphobic on and off for most of my life and am probably my many people's definition virtually house bound as I seldom leave my 'safe' zone alone. However I take a positve attitude to my condition, my carbon footprint is very low. I no longer measure myself aginst other people's expectations, but I understand the lonliness and frustration that others with this condition endure.

Mature student Distance learning

I obtained my Bsc (Hons) in Sociology from the Open University at the ripe old age of 54. I understand the issues of motivation, lack of confidence and lonliness that distant leaners experience. I was seldom able to connect with fellow students on a face to face basis and my own shyness prevented me asking for help at times when I maybe should have. I experienced and conquered extreme anxiety about taking exams and proved to myself that I can complete something.

Why mentor on horsesmouth?

Without wishing to sound pompous I have always believed that everyone can help others along the path of life. I am very much a homebody through circumstance but I can use my computer to communicate with others and be a listening ear, sounding board or whatever. For a long time I have wanted to write a book called 'I get that too' In other words I am a strong beliver that if you share an experience worry or fear then you are no longer coping alone and the knowledge that other's may have dealt with the same thing is a reassurance. In the past I have needed to sort of support offered by those on Horsesmouth, now I feel I can offer it.

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I am very lucky to have found your website. Recently I wrote about a problem which I face very often.... There were 10 responses from 10 mentors. They have really explained to me and made me understand that I do not have any problem. Your services are wonderful and I am very much thankful to all of you.

I have been mentoring on HM for 18 months. I really enjoy it & hopefully I am helping other people. Recently I posted my my first 'request for a mentor'. I have been completely bowled over by the response. So many people taking their time & making the effort to offer constructive advice in a friendly polite manner. For me it completely validates the intent behind HM. It reminds me how many good, helpful people there are out there. Thanks for providing such a great service.
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I have been inundated with unbelievably helpful replies, and now have a toolkit to draw on to start turning around behaviours and mind-sets that have been detrimental in my life.

I just want to thank Horsesmouth and all the amazing people who reached out to me.  Each and every one of you has given me something to think about, and some have given me heaps of material with which to start working.  Now I need to do the work! Thank you so much!' 

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