This is an explanation of how anger develops and how it can lead to aggression or violence.

TRIGGER (EXTERNAL) this is what happens to start off the whole process. Perhaps someone nips in front of you in the queue, or insists on showing you up in front of your mates. You don't often have any say in external triggers; they just happen!

TRIGGER (INTERNAL) - this is the next bit and it's what you say to yourself in response to the above. Using the first example above, if you think 'Oh, never mind, they're obviously in a rush, I'll let them go first', then you're not going to get angry. If, as is more likely, you think 'The cheeky *******, no-one gets away with that', you're on your way to a fight. Unfortunately, these 'self-instructional statements', as they're called, are difficult to stop but read on...

CUES - these are the body's way of letting you know that you're getting angry. Everyone's different but typically you'll experience sweaty palms, a flushed face, tightening of the muscles, clenched fists etc. etc. Don't worry, it's good that you recognise these. If you do then you're well on the way to stopping yourself doing anything you may regret.

Up to this point you'll probably recognise the steps. What you may not know is what you can do next.

REMINDERS - go back to the internal trigger and try to think of a helpful thought which you could use to stop you going off on one. For instance 'Calm down, it's not worth getting stressed about', or 'Just chill'. This may be all you need to keep safe. If not...

ANGER REDUCERS - choose from deep breathing, counting backwards or thinking of a calming scene. If you are able to use one or more of these at the right time you may well find that the anger cues start to die down.

THINKING AHEAD - this one is really important. If you can train yourself to think of the likely consequences of doing what you feel like doing when you're angry you may well take a step back, rather than forward. Let's say you've been warned about your temper by your partner 'If I carry on with this then they'll leave me, I've been warned', or 'If I hit him/her, I might end up in court again and this time it'll be prison'.

USING A SKILL - by now you should be breathing easier and feeling more able to think rationally. However, you may still want to make your point about what has made you angry. How to do this is a story in itself but let's just say that if you can learn to be assertive you're on to a winner.

CHECK OUT HOW YOU DID - so how did you deal with the situation? If you reacted better than you might have done in the past, give yourself a pat on the back. If you didn't, work out what went wrong and put it right next time (there will be a next time!).