Well the relationship started out nice, he knew I had been through a lot with my ex, I told him all about it and also telling him about my family (which wasn't easy at all).
It was all nice for the first 2 months but then slowly turned into 1 and a 1/2 years of hell. It started when I was busy and forgot to text him back due to being at college and usually sat in lecture trying to pay attention. "Are u ignoring me now?" I would get with an angry emoticon next to it. I'd reply "Do I need to text u every 5 minutes for you to be happy, I'm in lecture and a bit busy at the moment sorry! xxx".
That was only the start often me being busy and unable to reply if i was at work or college would start off a major argument about how I didn't love him. I slowly found myself feeling more and more distant from him, and actually starting to hate him. "This isn't working!!" I text, "well you arent letting it work" he replied, as a major argument kicked off and we split up the first time after only 2 and a 1/2 months together.
My parents hated him anyway, saying how could I like someone like that, so when we got back together i started to hide the fact I was with him as I didnt want arguments with my family. My mum is the kind of person who can keep an argument going over many days, and I really didnt want that I was stressed enough as it was.
Time went on with me going out pretending to be with friends when infact I was spending time with him, though I couldnt stop the stress building up as I struggled with my work at college and dealt with the arguments between me and the boyfriend.
During the end of my college course I became very ill through the amount of stress, and ended up at home having to send work to college via email. I was in agony to try and walk as my legs ached and felt dead, all the muslces between my ribs were inflammed and all the doctor could do is give me strong painkillers and hope it passed. The doctor didnt know what else to do as blood tests didnt give him any idea what was wrong.
After that me and the boyfriend did get through the first year, but I certainly didnt want to be with him. I worked all summer trying to get money for University, I tried to split up with him and he started trying to use what I had told him about my family to try and emotionally blackmail me. Feeling trapped I stayed with him, though any time i spent with him I couldnt stand him touching me or being near me. I often came back, threw all my clothes in the wash and just sat in the bottom of the shower hoping it would wash all my feelings away and wash him off my skin. I was more than just depressed, I was scared and this lasted into the first term of uni.
I split up with him in my first term and he started sending abusive text messages, i still felt trapped as if I was still with him and sank into a horrible gloom. I hardly socialised and kept myself to myself really, no one in my flat really knew me that term, though at least I had met them during freshers week.
Then I met my current boyfriend as I threw caution to the wind and decided to go see some friends from my class in their flat, we didnt talk much during that party but afterwards we spoke on facebook and occasionally met up to go out for a drink.
I was still having problems with my exboyfriend, and it got to the point where I ended up in my boyfriends room crying I was so stressed I just couldnt take it anymore, the abuse was getting worse. My boyfriend persuaded me to go to the police, and drove me to the local station where I told them everything showing them the text messages. The police officer later went to his house to warn him to stay away from me and to stop contacting me or he would end up in court for harassment and emotional blackmail.
That has to have been the hardest thing I have done so far, but the best, I got my freedom back and started to feel more like myself again. My boyfriend really helped me, though that wasn't the end of the problems . . .
As soon as things had been sorted out with the police I blocked and deleted my ex on facebook ect and removed his number from my phone.
He found my boyfriend on facebook and started putting messages like "keep your b***h on a lead!" my boyfriend typed back to him getting annoyed "least I can treat her better than you ever did!" then blocked him.
Me and my boyfriend started going out during the spring holidays, taking things nice and slow. I was so scared something horrible would happen again then Id end up in a mess, but I got to know him first before I would start trusting him.
When we were back at university we were both added by a facebook account which we thought was another uni student due to the picture on the profile and thought nothing of it. But then after some nasty comments were put up as status updates on this profile we got suspicious, we put the name through a search on the students list, there was no student by that name. I had a look through the groups the profile had on it, the ones to do with uni were from first term and only added recently, this wasn't real it couldnt be! we both blocked the profile which suddenly started adding any friends we shared in common.
I wrote a private message to the profile "bit obvious this isnt a real profile, voting was over at the start of term so why add those groups?" I got back "haha you silly cow, ? (my ex boyfriends name) is now ICU after a hit and run incident near his house, I bet your to blame for it". How could I be to blame I cant legaly drive a car yet? I blocked the account and told my friends it was my ex and to block him. The account changed names after this as a friend told me.
2 months after that I got an annoymous email from a made up account snobbystephparker what the hotmail name. who ever it was started on about how they wouldnt trust me and that thay are supprosed me and my boyfirend are together, Im not his type.
I immediatly jumped to conclusions and got upset hoping trouble wouldnt suddenly kick off again. My boyfriend was really supportive "not my type??, you are exactly my type baby!" exactly the reason why I love him so much he is always there for me when I need it. Im hoping all this will just stop soon as Im so fed up of having to watch my back, why should I have to?
xXx
When I was in primary school ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) wasn't very well known of, I was labled as being lazy and misbehaving. If a class didn't grab my attention or I found it boring I just couldn't pay attention.
I moved primary school when I was in year 3 and in my new one I found myself really behind, mental arithmatic? I'd never done this before. I was put into a learning difficulties class to see if i would catch up with a bit of help, these classes were so patronising I wasn't stupid, but thats how they made me feel. I tried going to kumon maths which was answering maths questions over and over again until they stuck in your head. This I found too boring and easy in the end.
The best thing i did was having some private one to one tuition with a nextdoor neighbour who was a teacher, she could explain things in a way which really made sense and soon got me back on the right track.
It took until I moved into secondary school for teachers to realise there was a problem and it wasn't simply me just being lazy and not trying. I had dyslexia screening done which came back with nothing, then was sent to see a specialist in child phsycology who sat with me for an hour asking about my school work and how I thought I was doing. His report came back saying that I have ADD with out the hyperactivity which is normally seen in boys but very few girls. Apparently instead of acting out many girls just become quite daydream a lot, and dont exactly do that bad that it draws attention to them they just drift along, getting average grades.
My parents were happy to have an answer, and the school soon had a copy of the report and said they would offer help. The specialist offered for me to start a course of Ritalin to help improve my concentration, though he was not sure that this would work with ADD as its normally for the control of hyperactivity. My parents thought that it wasn't a good idea so we left it. The school recieved a copy of my report and said they would offer help, none was ever given, the message wasn't even passed on to my teachers as we found out one parents evening. Despite this I did really well at GCSE level I got 9 grade C's which considering I was predicted D's and E's I was very happy about.
I moved on to college and went through a National Certificate in Veterinary Care Assistants on my own and came out with a Merit. Then went on to do a BTECH National Diploma, with no help either, coming out with three distinctions which is similar to 3 A levels.
Using this I am now in university i struggled through my first 2 terms of FdSc Veterinary Nursing, i was provided with some one to one time with a member of the learning support team, so she could help reword some of my assignments and check my spelling over. This has been so much help. I also went back to the child phsycologist who even though I'm now 20 wanted to know how I'd got on he did another diagnosis on me and said I also have Dyslexia. With this diagnosis i have been able to get so much help at uni: extra time on exams, disabled student allowance which has given me a laptop, printer and software to help me with my work. I have also started taking ritalin now that I am older, so far I think it is helping.
I hope this story gives parents of children who have ADD or ADHD a bit more hope as I know it is tough. Give them as much support and understanding as you can, help them find something in life that they are passionate about for example for me it was animals and biology so veterinary nursing was the path I needed. ADD/ ADHD is not so much a problem its more of a misunderstanding, we are clever but only when the subject is interesting to us.
